quickly build the wall

How can we quickly re-open the government? If Trump is going to keep this up, it may be as quickly as we can build the wall. Government employees who live paycheck to paycheck are being shafted right now. People are missing mortgage payments. One side needs to fold soon. But $5.7 billion is a lot. And with Trump not backing down the only way is to pass the bill but with a MUCH cheaper price tag. I’m talking free. How to quickly build the wall AND get it done for free? Watch as I save the U.S. Government again…

3. THEY Bring The Plywood

quickly build the wall
Maybe Mexico will pay for the wall after all

Here’s the deal. The wall costs money. $5.7 billion to be exact. Why does it cost so much? Labor and materials. Now watch as I kill three birds with one stone.

We send the word out to the Mexican population via air-dropped pamphlets, we announce to them that if they want to come to America they are welcome. As long as they follow a few instructions:

how to quickly build the wall
  • You must walk
  • You must choose one of the 17 items listed in this pamphlet
  • Every person in your party above the age of 16 must carry an item
  • You must wear the color orange (this is to signal border patrol of your peaceful intentions)
  • When you reach the border you are to install said item
  • Once your item is secured, has become apart of, and has strengthened the wall, you will be permitted American citizenship
Image result for wall of garbage

Alright, alright right wingers hold your horses. Hear it out.

How does it pass?

Why the Wallers will like it- This will get passed because it is low cost and grants extra asylum. A wall will be built. Immigrants will be let in but hey, i we didn’t build the wall they would get in anyway. I mean, it is an epidemic, right?

quickly build the wall

Why the Non-Wallers will like it- No cost due to free labor and material. Wall is built but thousands will be granted asylum.

2. Outsource

Now, I’m no expert of walls.

But $5.7 billion is a lot. Do you think the Wall of China was built with $5.7 billion dollars of tax payer money? No. It was built with tax payer sweat and elbow grease. They make a lot with a little there. And they make it fast.

So why don’t why outsource the wall the same way we do iPhones?

Image result for chinese happy factory worker
Look how happy she is with her countries high employment rate!

We have them build it piece by piece. The labor will be pennies on the dollar, the Steve Jobs model. Have them build it there for the US and pay their labor fees.

Then they send the pieces over here ready to go and we use inmates from New Mexico and South California to assemble it like its Ikea.

Very cheap materials, and free, fulfilling labor for inmates who could use an honest days work.

1. Hologram

Related image
Don’t stare too long…

It’s crazy, but it could work.

Just like 2pac a Coachella or whatever, we set up a massive lifelike wall usig holographic technology. To the naked immigrant eye, it’s just a wall.

But what happens when he tries to climb it?

Whoops! It’s a bottomless pit dug underneath!

The democrats will be allowed to recruit voters in the pit. This is why they will pass it.

You’re welcome, once again I saved the government. How to quickly build the wall? Done.

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