Usually articles of this nature will have a disclaimer letting you know “this doesn’t apply to every relationship”. Well, this article does. It is the tried and true, scientifically and social tested list of the classic and age-old signs your girlfriend is cheating on you. There are 15 to be exact. If more than 10 of these feel eerily accurate to your situation, time to face the music brother. If it’s only 5 or 6 maybe she’s just falling out of love. Meaning they aren’t necessarily signs of your girlfriend having an affair, but definitely could be a sign you need to work on things if you want to keep her.
Above all else, of all the signs your girlfriend is cheating on you, nothing is stronger than your gut feeling. I’ll say maybe For 5-10% of people are just insecure by nature (this could be the case for you) and will always be suspicious, but for the high majority of you out there, if it doesn’t feel right…it probably isn’t.
The 15 Classic Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You:
1. She Acts Weird When You Bring Up A Specific Someone
To be honest, if you are in a healthy and trusting relationship, then even bringing up your girlfriend’s ex should not be sending her into a visible state of panic (unless maybe he was like super abusive obviously).
But if she is continually stammering whenever you bring up coworker X or “friend” from home Z, you may want to start paying a little closer attention. Especially if this “friend” is someone that you know she talks to frequently. Or even worse, used to mention them to you frequently but then you stopped hearing his name for a while. And then you find out they still hang/get drinks after work. Big red flag.
The biggest tell though in this category is how she acts when she comes home after hanging out with them. If it’s a coworker of hers that you are worried about, ask her how he was doing next time she comes back from the company happy hour. Chances are if there is something going on, you will see it in her face right then and there.
2. She Showers As Soon As She Gets Home
Now don’t look TOO much into this one. But when coupled with other signs it’s not one that should be ignored.
It’s not a secret that coming back from a rendezvous with another man would leave a woman carrying a certain scent that would seem off to her man. On top of that, she may just feel a little dirty about it herself and a shower can help that.
As I mentioned don’t look too much into it unless it just started happening, and you relate to another 5-6 items on this list. Other than that maybe she is just super hygenic. If she was always showering twice or three times a day since you met her, obviously this is not a concern.
3. Her Phone Is Kept Very Close To Her
You used to know her pass-code to her phone, not anymore.
You used to both have Yellow hearts for eachother on Snapchat.
But now she holds her phone close to her chest when she is texting and you’re near by. Noticing a suspicious texter is not difficult.
Does she text normally and then pull the phone closer to her while speeding up her typing when you walk by? Is it ever clear that she is texting but when you walk over to grab your laptop suddenly you see her quickly close out of something and she opens TikTok or some other innocent app? Of all the signs your girlfriend is cheating, this one really can be brutal. It’s tough not knowing if she keeps pulling away her phone because her and her ex are having a little flirty conversation.
The real kicker – next time she is standing and texting in her own world, try to walk up to her without her noticing. If you watch her actually take a step back and say “what?” or act defensive in any way, you have a problem on your hands.
4. She Is Distracted When You Talk To Her
Twitter, Instagram, and whoever else she is texting mean the world to her whenever you two are sitting on the couch. And you are finding that you seem to be talking through her or at her, rather than with her.
It’s become an all too common occurrence that you will finish a thought or question just for her to poke her head up from behind the phone and say “Sorry, were you saying something?”
If a girl is interested in a man, it is very obvious. She doesn’t care about her ex’s new girlfriend in his Instagram story, or Facebook memories from High School. She wants to be invested and present for the man that she loves, not only because she respects him, but because she genuinely is interested in learning more about him.
If she was a space cadet since you met her and forgetting conversations halfway through was always a constant for you two, then obviously this doesn’t apply to you two stoners.
But if this new to your relationship to AND you girlfriend also gets mad when you do the same thing, she does not have any respect left for you and you need to decide where you want to stand in that relationship, if you want to stay in it at all.
5. When You Are Drunk She Picks Fights
Getting drunk used to be full of laughs, deep conversation, and eventual fun in the bedroom after the Uber dropped you both off.
Now when your girlfriend gets drunk, she likes to bring up past arguments again. Or likes to belittle you or your career. Concerns and criticisms that you did not know existed in her head pop up like MegaMillion balls.
Or maybe it’s not even a specific thing. Because there is no specific thing. She just goes silent or gets aggressive about a topic that started from nothing. Yes she may be a little crazy, and you’re confused why this girl you know to be rational is just screaming at you after suggesting ordering GrubHub. The truth is she’s confused as well. Because she doesn’t know what she is doing with you and doesn’t know how to get out. Likely because you haven’t done anything wrong. Her picking fights over nothing is a last stitch effort. She wants you to either lose is it and give her a reason to leave, or she wants to be so unbearable that you voluntarily leave. In either scenario, the truth is she is pushing you away.
Now a caveat to this is maybe you are just dating a not-so-friendly alcoholic. If she has been this way since you met and apologizes in the morning for being a disaster then it’s very possible she does not want to push you away. That being said your relationship obviously has some other issues that need to be addressed.
6. She Is Becoming Emotionally Distant
All the office gossip and family issues that she used to bring up to you has stopped. And when you try to follow up on something she had mentioned in the past she’ll brush it off with “oh that was nothing”. And go back to her phone.
Are you your girlfriends number one confidant?
If not, you should be a little concerned. If her number one confidant is some other guy, you should be VERY concerned.
There are certain things that your girlfriend will want girl advice from. Advice you can’t provide for obvious reasons. This is totally fine of course. Every girl has issues that they know only their mom or other girlfriends could give them the proper support.
Men are solutions oriented. When they hear a problem they start pitching solutions. Women sometimes just want to be heard, other women know this. Some men do not. So if you are the type to only offer solutions, and your wife takes her venting to her girlfriends, then she has solved this problem on her own and there is no issue. She will go to her man for advice, and her girlfriends to emotionally vent. This makes perfect sense.
Now what if your girlfriend has another guy that she prefers to talk to besides you? I’m sure you already see the issue here. This is one of the signs your girlfriend is cheating on you, even if it’s just emotionally.
Unless this friend is gay, it doesn’t matter if its a past hook up or some dude from her childhood that she swears she has no feelings for. She is turning to him for advice. For decisions. That is VERY bad for you. A woman who is upset and looking for advice from a man and not choosing her boyfriend is a pretty clear sign the relationship is down the drain. Unless you are banging twice a day I would assume she has a foot out the door in this scenario.
7. She Is Suddenly Suspicious Of You
He who smelt it, dealt it, as they say.
I don’t know if that analogy really applies here. But basically when it comes to signs that your girlfriend is cheating, this one is a Cardinal rule. It’s pretty much backed by science so I will refrain from beating a dead horse here. But we all know this is a well know topper of all the lists of signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you.
8. You Are Not Invited To Hangout With Her Friends Anymore
Again, not necessarily a red flag if this has been an arrangement between the two of you off the bat. You prefer to be with your friends alone. And she has always preferred the same. (That being said if it seems to feel as if she is making a effort to hide you, that could be a sign she does not see the relationship as a very serious one, even if it has always been the dynamic).
IF however you used to get invited to her company happy hours, or meet ups with her college friends, etc. If those invites have ceased then you may have an issue on your hands.
Are you a boisterous drunk who embarrass her? Or has the impression been that her friends enjoy your company and seemed to like the fact you were dating their friend? If it’s not the former, chances are she has already told her friends and is slowly cutting you out from their lives. You can be extra sure about this if her friends are always acting distant/weird towards you. Not liking pictures on social media, acting weird when they see you in public, no longer sending heart eye emojis when you post stories to your girlfriend. You get the idea.
Another, and more sinister possibility, is she isn’t actually with her friends.
9. She Tells You To Spend More Time With Your Friends
Now for some of you, it could be possible that you are a hermit and it is worrying your girlfriend. And she genuinely wants you to see your guy friends. Generally though, if a girl is into a guy she’s going to want him around all the time. If she starts to randomly suggest out of nowhere that you take a few hours to see your buddies during the day on a Saturday, or go on a ski trip, and almost gets annoyed when you don’t agree to find plans specifically from the hours of 3-7pm tomorrow, that’s the real indicator.
If she gets annoyed when you don’t agree to go to your friends house for the day, if it feels like you are ruining her secret plan for that day, you’re probably spot on. Signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you don’t get much more clear than this.
10. Suddenly She Prefers To Do Errands Alone
Bonus points if she has a past hookup/ex that lives nearby. If not maybe it’s a Tinder hookup. Or maybe you just annoy her.
If there is someone from her past that you are suspicious of though, definitely take note if she suddenly decides she likes doing errands around town alone now. Maybe she wanted to go grocery shopping but just wanted to go alone to clear her head. Or out of nowhere suddenly she likes to go on runs from time to time but doesn’t want you to come with.
As mentioned about, the key indicator is if she seems to get annoyed when you throw off her plans to be alone for a few hours.
11. Decline In Physical Intimacy
Now this is a touchy one (pun slightly intended).
It is no secret that the frequency of sex will likely dwindle through the duration of a long-term relationship. That being said, this has for some reason become accepted as an impending truth. Here is the harsh truth. Sex drive doesn’t just magically die down in women after relationships, if it did there wouldn’t be so much cheating and divorce.
Obviously sex between two people in a new relationship is going to be more abundant than one that has settled down. I am not saying you should be expecting a sex drive that requires banging 2-3 times per day from your girlfriend. It’s unfortunate but if she’s not seeming to sexually into you, its very possible its one of the harsh signs that your girlfriend is cheating. Or at least thinking about it.
You would be devastated to hear the things she done for other guys that she has not done for you. Don’t act like it is not an issue. If she is telling you that she only wants to have sex once a week because she has a low libido. Tread carefully. Unless she is asexual, if she is having sex once a week, it’s not a low sex drive. It’s likely a low sex drive towards you.
12. A Newfound Obsession With Your Whereabouts
Has your girlfriend recently been a big proponent of you downloading Find My Friends or Where’s My Iphone?
Signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you? Or legitimate concern?
It’s possible that you are dealing with a girl that is just super into you or cares about you, but if this idea suddenly popped into your girlfriends head after over a year of dating, it is very likely she doesn’t care where you are. She just wants to know where you are because it makes it a lot easier for her to have the guy from down the street come over for an hour when she knows you have’n’t eve gotten on the train yet.
13. It Has Felt Like She Has Come Close To A Confession
Big red flag number 13. Has your girlfriend ever come home from the bar or from drinking at a friends house in a weird mood only to start crying and tell you she needs to tell you something?
So you press her on it trying to get her to spit it out, knowing for sure you know whats coming. You’re looking in her eyes and one last time you say “just tell me”. Pit in your stomach. Then suddenly it’s something you never expected. She thinks she might be pregnant (and you know it doesn’t make sense given sex timelines). Or her friend from High School just got diagnosed with a gluten allergy. Something that doesn’t seem like necessarily crying over.
But it’s not about that, if it was something trivial why was there a long pause? Such a serious moment before the announcement of a not so serious topic.
One of the signs your girlfriend is cheating on you – when you think she was about to fess up but chickened out. Only you can know for sure. As you can see the theme here has been consistent. Trust your gut.
14. Her Future Doesn’t Seem To Include You Anymore
There used to be talk of kids, she would even talk about what their names would be.
Talks about moving in, or where you guys would be moving next. If these kind of conversations from her have stopped, you can be almost certain the relationship has run its course. She may have fallen out of love or you have created doubts in her on what you truly could provide to her as a long term partner. Either are signs your girlfriend is cheating.
Of all the signs your girlfriend is cheating on you, if you are in your late 20’s, this one is especially true. No 28 year old woman would NOT be talking about her future with you if she had any true interest in you.
15. She Has Zero Concerns About Your Finances
She used to offer to split the bill with you all the time, randomly buy groceries or takeout. Bought you gifts, even if she didn’t have much nothing ever felt close to mooching.
Or maybe you are the one with financial difficulties. And she used to be compassionate about it. She would maybe suggest staying in for a week if you were having a rough stretch until your paycheck. Or maybe even gave you actual financial help. And she genuinely seemed happy to do it. And wanted to help you get on a better path. (Related to the above, thinking about a future together).
If talks about the future have ended and it’s starting to seem like she’s trying to drain you whenever she can, she likely is trying to push you away or already has another man and is trying to milk you a little bit before fulling exiting your life. That of course would be the worst case scenario. But if you are the money maker in the relationship, don’t ignore this one. Don’t let your cheating girlfriend take anything more from you. Be strong, and cut ties.
In Conclusion – Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You
Did you count more than 10 signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you that apply to you?
Chances are you need to walk out, confront, or decide to be a beta until she dumps you.
Here is what you are NOT going to do.
- Cry about how insecure you are (nothing will make her dry up more down there…)
- Try to fix it by being nicer
- If you want to fix it, maintain your positive energy but disnegage her emotionally. Act like you are pushing away.
- Do NOT go through her phone/emails/computer. It’s not fair. And you will likely find exactly what you were afraid of.
But as always most importantly, trust your gut. Protect your heart out there brothers.