Woah, woah put your pitchforks down. As usual we’re going to break this down for you. Is the Pentagon out of line here? Or is this best for the country? Is it crazy to say transgender is a mental disorder? Here at Today’s Five we always have hot takes, sometimes too hot…

But hear this one out. Just buckle up, because this may not be the commentary you expect:

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a man of two principles. Equality for all, and a penny saved is a penny earned.

So when this story broke, I was torn. For like 5 seconds. Then I realized. There are two very obvious reasons why transgenders should not be getting all worked up over this announcement:

1. It may be discrimination… but get in line guys, the Army has been discriminating for years

This isn’t WWII. We aren’t in a dire need for soldiers. In fact we need less of them. For most serving in the military day-to-day life features little to no combat. Which means a very low amount of deaths for a country at war. There is a reason we have no draft, it is better to recruit the best and keep them alive. Combine that with the sweet benefits and it’s actually not a bad gig. Free cool stories, personal training, a lifetime of well deserved respect, plus ladies dig soldiers.

kissing soldiers goodbye

With all that in mind you have to realize that in today’s America, the military is the opposite of a draft, it is a competition.

The United States spends an absurd amount on military and defense. You may have noticed this because people talk about it. A lot. The government tries to get people to talk less about it, so they try to trim the budget when they can. Medical expenses were a fat piece of the pie. They soon realized a lot of people were abusing the policy, using military service as a means of getting medical bills taken care of. Especially conditions that require routine check-ups or regular doses of prescription medicine.

This has nothing to do with the country not wanting to help the sick, in the same way it has nothing to do with whether or not transgender is a mental disorder. If a transgender feels discriminated against by this ruling, then they must not care much about the plights of other groups. Because they did the exact same thing to millions upon millions of people.

Official U.S. Military List of Disqualifying Conditions

If you open that list, literally every disorder or condition you can think of is mentioned. Here is a handful:

  • Diabetes
  • ADHD
  • Asthma
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Impotent
  • Dyslexic

The list goes on, and on, and on, if you haven’t read it yourself. Every defect a human could possibly have is brought up. It’s clear that the military is a picky club these days. Most people would be turned down for multiple reasons.

But do you see Diabetics banding together and demanding entry into the military? After all, it’s not like they couldn’t fight, they just need their regular doses of insulin. Same with people with Asthma and inhalers. And what about those with past diagnosis of Depression, ADHD, or Anxiety? Even if they find the right balance of medications to bring them back, they cannot join. But why aren’t they storming twitter and yelling about equality?

Transgender what

Because they understand how life works. Even if they think it’s “unfair” they were born that way, they still have to see the U.S. military’s logic in not wanted to recruit people who will require medication and monitoring. Especially when their are so many applicants who don’t.

Whether transgender is a mental disorder or not, transgender groups say who they are is something they cannot control. This is the same for diabetics or those with asthma, they didn’t ask for it. Do you see why the two are so comparable now? Transgender individuals also require hormone therapy and monitoring. So to the military, transgender and medical conditions are the same thing. Something you cannot control, that needs treatment, and costs money.

Get as triggered as you want, but this is basic budgeting logic.

transgender is a mental disorder

The setup though by our spectacle of a president just further confirms my theory that he is partly a troll.

In classic form Donald Trump picked the worst way to announce this. Over Twitter at 9am.

My favorite part though, is how he got everyone triggered by just bringing up a regulation that has already existed, THIS HAS BEEN A RULE THE WHOLE TIME:


Oh and the extra bit of irony — there is equality in their discrimination. No Female or Male mutilated genitalia allowed, period.

But if you had your dick chopped off I have a hard time believing you wanted to be in the army in the first place, which brings us to my second obvious reason

2. You don’t want to join the army, you’re just upset that you cant

How many openly transgender people were actually planning on joining the military but will now be unable to because of this decision? How many transgenders were super psyched to join the Marines next month, their childhood dream coming to life in front of their eyes. Only to have it snatched away last second by Trump’s racist little twitter fingers.

trump tweeting


“Brittle fingers turn to Twitter fingers just to get the trannys triggered”

Here’s a hot take for you. I bet there were 5, at MOST. At absolute maximum there were 5 transgender Americans that were actually signed up and preparing to go away to the military. I’d bet like 7 dollars on that assertion. Have you met an openly transgender person? I’m not saying transgender is a mental disorder, but you know it’s a certain type of person. A type of person you wouldn’t expect to be jumping at the opportunity to join the army.

You find transgender people in the army as often as you find these:

hot army girl

And while we’re on the topic I don’t think 10’s should be allowed to be sent overseas either. Why would we just throw the gems of our species onto the battlefield? I’d much rather send out people like Eric Trump.

I’m not a transgender but let me speak to you all for a second, literally no one wants to go to the Army. That’s why we call them heroes, because they do it so WE don’t have to. You think I want to sweat my balls off, out in whatever sand tunnel I’m sent, waiting to get shot at by dudes hiding in rocks. Fuck that. And you mother fuckers get a ‘GUARANTEE!’ that you won’t get the call if WWIII breaks out and we start drawing names. Yet you complain about it.

Unbelievable. All of you members of the transgender community on Twitter need to get a grip and see what this really is. This all started with a smoke screen by Trump to distract everyone from his flopping healthcare bill. He figured a controversial 9am tweet would do the job. Hey I’ll just get the ball rolling he figured, maybe force the pentagon to take a stance and declare if transgender is a mental disorder or not. He dangled the bait. And you bit. You fuckers really really bit on it. You must just love to get triggered. Oh no the military thinks transgender is a mental disorder!

sansa triggered

You are getting offended over nonsense because you are insecure. Like the guy who complains about not getting invited to the party, even though it was because he friends already knew he was busy.

If you actually cared and wanted to join the army but couldn’t because it was decided transgender is a mental disorder, then I have great news for you, there is no blood test to identify if someone is transgender. If you’re not pulling a Mulan, then I don’t truly believe you care.


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