We all know the average American can’t sew. So I’m not sure why the CDC and every mainstream media outlet assumes that everyone can sew or has even the slightest desire to learn how. Ridiculous articles like this from CNN explain how your everyday items (you know, like top quality sewing machines, sterilizer fabric, and 1000 pc. box of 1/4″ nylon string, things that every American has lying around…) can be used to make an efficient mask. No one has these things. There are way easier ways to make a homemade Corona mask.
Also for most people, they just want to run to the store quick to buy some Trix but Shop Rite won’t let them in because their town/state has demanded that everyone entering any essential business must have their face covered. Even though just last week they were saying masks were useless but that’s a topic for another post…
How To Make A Homemade Corona Mask
Luckily, since you can’t even buy masks, there is a lot of wiggle room as to what counts as a Corona mask that covers your face effectively. So I am taking it upon myself to make a list of masks people can easily make with items that every American ACTUALLY has. CDC has already clarified that any mask obstructing the mouth or nose is equally effective. This includes cloth.
T-Shirt Ninja Mask
What You Need:
- 1 T-Shirt (Not V-Neck)
If you are unaware of how easy it is to make a ninja mask out of a t-shirt, you can go ahead and thank me now.
It’s super easy, ends up looking really cool, and the best part is it actually looks complicated to make when someone sees the finished product. They will be impressed by your resourcefulness without knowing that you whipped that stealth hood up in under 45 seconds. (We suggest using a black t-shirt for ultimate coolness).
Check the instructions below (yes they are in Chinese but just look at the pictures and try it you’ll see how easy this is).
The Shaun White Strategy
What You Need:
- 1 Bandanna
Probably the most easy solution if you need to grab eggs from the store but your town is forcing everyone outside to have some sort of mouth cover.
If you have ever gone snowboarding you probably already know. But if not, you simply fold the bandanna, wrap around your face, and tie. And boom. Homemade Corona mask.
Bandanna Hair Tie Face Mask
What You Need:
- 1 Bandanna
- 2 Hair Ties
Not enough faith in the Shaun White Strategy? Well here’s a homemade Corona mask that’s a little more complicated.
This is top of the line Beijing fashion right now, make sure you use a flowery mask for the full Etsy effect.
A mask like this will likely cover your mouth a little better than just a simple tied bandanna. BUT the hair ties will push up against your ears and you will resemble a contagious elf. So, pick your poison.
Corona Party Cone
What You Need
- 1 Party Hat
- Little To No Shame
Now this one I understand is a slight obscure “household item”. But if you are a hoarder or recently had a planned birthday party for your toddler this may be the perfect solution for you.
When flipped over your face, a party hat has all the hardware you need to keep your Corona mask securely in place while also covering your mouth and nose. The strings will lie on your ears keeping the Corona mask held close enough up to your face without being pushed in too hard.
On top of that, unlike a regular mask, if you forgot to brush your teeth that morning the cone shape of the party hat will allow a lot more room for your breath before it starts piling up and filling up your face. Brushing your teeth would solve this however so if that is the only reason you want to try the party cone you may want to explore that option.
Brown Bag It
What You Need:
- 1 Brown Bag
- Scissors
- Low Will To Live
Corona brown bag mask. The riskiest homemade Corona mask out there. But it also makes the loudest statement.
Need to comply with your town/states covered face protocol but still think Corona Virus is a conspiracy and that the earth is flat, make a statement, and brown bag it.
I mean nurses keep their used masks in them, they can’t be that dangerous. Right?
