First off, I want to say there are a lot of articles out there that provide tips (Some VERY Outdated) on how to cheat in a fantasy football league as the commissioner … Cheating in a fantasy football league as a commissioner would be incredibly easy and almost pointless to explain. Commissioners have all control, plus it takes a real twisted guy to create a league JUST to rig it in his favor. No, this blog post is for the ones who like a challenge. The one’s who want to slyly take over the league that they joined, not created. It is a much more subtle and impressive art.
It’s also something that becomes a topic of interest right around now (week 3), as teams fall to 1-2 and even 0-3. Desperation sets in and the search for answers on how to cheat a fantasy football league arise as frustrations pick up from the smack talk and soon this frustration turns into “screw it, I just want to take everyone’s money at this point and you don’t care how dirty it is.”
Well, look no further. I am here to give you a step-by-step guide on how to cheat in a fantasy football league that you are NOT the commissioner of.
How To Cheat In A Fantasy Football League
Step 1: You Will NEED An Ally
It goes without saying this will have to be subtle.
Now you are going to look for two factors when searching for this partner in crime. Ideally you have a good friend in the league who also shares a losing record with you. That would be your best bet.
If not, you can try to read the personalities of the players in the league. Who is mad at the way things are currently running? Who seems honorable and most likely to throw caution to the wind and join your shenanigans?
You of course have to be careful here. Choosing the wrong candidate could absolutely blow up your entire spot if they blow the whistle.
But MOST importantly, don’t bother trying to reach out to someone with a winning record. Things are going well for them and they are much more likely to out you.
On a further note, for those of you lone wolves out there, I’m sorry, but colluding a league from the inside (outside of commissioner control) is a two-man job. This means you will have to split the winnings. But if your team is going down the drain anyway you really only have everything to gain. How to cheat in a fantasy football league? First step is finding that trusted partner.
Step 2: NEVER Have More Than One Ally
If you don’t trust your selected accomplice to keep his mouth shut, or he keeps suggesting adding members to the sleeper cell, you picked the wrong ally.
As Stanley Kubrick would say, the less people know, the better.
I am only including this as a mistake because people year in and year out CONSTANTLY blow up their spot by doing too much. Adding a third member is almost a guarantee word will get out.
Step 3: Make Your Desperation Known
Make the league aware you are frantic, your record is scaring you, and you need to send out trades to try and salvage thing.
Send trades out daily. Ridiculous ones. Things like Lamar Miller for Tyreek Hill and Antonio Brown. Send trades like this to everyone in your league (including your accomplice, however he will be turning down these trades for the time being as well)
Step 4: Get Your Accomplice To Trade You Their 1st and 3rd Round Pick
Eventually you will send a trade to your accomplice that he will accept to help pad your team. It will be slanted like the others, but just ever so slightly less. And it will contain an easter egg as well as a perfectly rehearsed reasoning for your inside man to accept (for example if you get Antonio Brown and Tyreek Hill for Matt Stafford and Crabtree, have your accomplice reason i.e. I think Antonio Brown will get hurt, I love Matt Stafford, I think Pat Mahones is a choke).
You’ll have to get some sort of story straight. Because the complaints and vetoes will come. And if you are looking on how to cheat in your fantasy football league, having this backstory will be crucial.
Step 4B: If The Trade Goes South
- Personally complain to the commissioner that even though you know the trade was unfair, you made a strong negotiation and there is nothing against the rules against hard business.
- Have your partner double-down on his reasoning and threaten to leave the league if his decision isn’t being honored.
Step 5: Win
Once the trade goes through, you should be set. You know have both your 1st and 3rd round pick, as well as your accomplice’s.
This should be more than enough to raise your record and get you into the playoffs where hopefully you and your partner in crime can celebrate and split the money after a long, sleazy, successful season.