“Is Avril Lavigne Dead?” Old Conspiracy, Chilling New Discoveries

It feels as if the old “Is Avril Lavigne dead?” conspiracy has been around since the beginning of the internet. (Because it pretty much has). From the evidence of the Avril Lavigne doppelganger, and best friend, Melissa Vandella. To the surprisingly sound argument of “Avril Lavigne conspiração”, an argument so sound, you’ll be less surprised at the amount of people in Brazil who believe that Avril Lavigne is a zombie. But patience has brought us closure. While Brazil was less than half correct, the answer does lie in South America. We have broken the language barrier. And Spanish Twitter brought us a lot of evidence, they have been doing their homework. When we combine our work, the answer of the the Avril Lavigne conspiracy is obvious.

Image result for avril lavigne conspiracy tweets

Before I bring this new evidence to you, here is a quick summation of the famous Avril Lavigne conspiracy:

“According to the theories, Canadian singer hanged herself before the second album and was replaced by a doppelgänger. The motive given for replacing her is she was at the height of her career and her record label didn’t want to let her go.

In summation: – she had a hired body double, called Melissa Vandella because she didn’t like the attention from the paparazzi. As this body double was around her a lot, she picked up on Avril’s mannerisms (to the extent she basically became her clone). Avril’s grandfather died soon after her debut album , Let Go,  which resulted in her taking her own life.”Indy100

After a claim as absurd as this one, it’s usually best for the general public to turn the other way and assume nonsense news is nonsense. However, when this “story” is being entertained by pop-culture magazines from Gawker to Vanity Fair, you start to think it might be worth taking a second look.

First step? Side-to-side comparison of course.

is avril lavigne dead
Original Avril (Left), Supposed Replacement Melissa (Right)

The photo above was taken around 2002.

On the right is Melissa Vandella, an Avril Lavigne look alike who was hired by Avril’s PR team. Constant paparazzi coverage had given Avril Lavigne extreme anxiety, hiring Melissa was the studio’s solution. They coached her to copy her mannerisms and become, essentially, an identical version of Avril.

Avril and Melissa Vandella became genuinely great friends before long. By the time Avril’s second album dropped, both disappeared from the spotlight for a very long time. When Avril finally came back, there was no mention of Melissa Vandella.

This is all fact.

Now, let’s bring in Reddit for some analysis!

In 2007, on a world tour, Avril Lavigne did a photoshoot while prominently displaying the word “Melissa” in sharpie on her hand.

Avril Lavigne conspiracy

 

Reddit is proposing that this is actually Melissa Vandella, trying to reach out to Avril’s fans and let them know they are on the right track.

The logistics make sense.

After all, Avril’s first album was huge. The studio would want to keep the Avril Lavigne train rolling, but how could they do that with no Avril? If only there was some solution…

Like all pop stars this whole ride has been a fake illusion of a public image. Made evident by the fact that they had been accidentally grooming a replacement since half the operation was already a sham!

Avril Lavigne conspiracy
Picture taken from Reddit

“Avril Ramona Lavigne’s doppelganger steps in to take her place. Yet in an interesting and perhaps all too convenient turn of events, the double leaks details involving Avril’s passing in the record’s lyrics, booklet, and promotional materials—most specifically in the songs “My Happy Ending” and “Nobody’s Home.” In 2004, Under My Skin is released. And it’s from here that fans, specifically those in Brazil, started to notice something is afoot.”Vice

From all the videos and articles I have scoured in regards to the Avril Lavigne conspiracy, I have learned two things. One, there are many suggestions and a few select mentions of the Avril Lavigne conspiracy originating among the stans of Brasil. The second thing I have learned, is that other countries delete like, everything. Swearing by my life as a blogger all the videos, all the articles, translated or not, discussing Avril or Melissa Vandella from that time period have been blocked, restricted, or deleted. Not saying this adds to the conspiracy. Just saying Brasil should free the art a little bit…

Anyway here are two more photos for you side by side that are, as an internet commenter presented them to me, highly convincing:

Avril Lavigne conspiracy
Exhibit A

 

Avril Lavigne conspiracy
Exhibit B

Whether the new Avril Lavigne is an imposter or has made some minor facial re-constructions, you gotta admit, new Avril is looking good.

And now to blow your mind. I (with the help of Reddit’s finest Brazilian detectives) am about to reveal to you, as they say in legal prosecution, the silver bullet of the Avril Lavigne conspiracy:

is avril lavigne dead
Explain that one Obama? Did Dick Cheney hire Stanley Kubrick to direct the moon landing JUST for the oil?!!?

“Um blog chamado “Avril Lavigne está morta” foi um dos principais capitães da bizarra teoria da conspiração e listou uma série de motivos que teoricamente comprovariam que a cantora de agora não é a mesma de antes. Confira alguns desses pontos:”Gente

As I was writing this blog my team managed to find a way to breach this virtual wall keeping us from Brasil. Keeping us from the answers. The word that broke the barrier was “conspiração”.

The Avril Lavigne conspiração was now the new case, and the Avril Lavigne conspiração became a much, much, more complicated one.

As usually is the case, the more you learn, the more you learn you don’t know. I don’t speak Spanish. Neither does anyone on my team. So while the Avril Lavigne conspiracy is leading us to dead end, we are even more left in the dark on the Avril Lavigne conspiração.  But this isn’t the first conspiracy I have cracked. I don’t speak Spanish but this ain’t my first rodeo.

Like I said I don’t speak Spanish. But I do speak sleazy journalism. From the above quote from “Gente”, I can tell the end is saying something along the lines of “Check below for evidence likely in the form of images to prove my previous claim.” Turned out I was right. And even though I mostly found pictures that were equally if not less convincing than the ones I possessed, it is where I found my “silver bullet” above. I gotta hand it it to those Brazilians they are pretty damn smart. I thought bringing sand soccer into the Olympics was genius but this, this is really out doing yourself Brazil. Look how in one picture her forehead is circled, and in the second picture, the red circle isn’t even her forehead! Avril Lavigne conspiração solved! Sorry, Avril Lavigne conspiracy (for you Americans) solved!

Avril Lavigne conspiracy
47% of Brazilians believe Avril Lavigne is a zombie according to Jambo TV

“The theory began on a blog called “Avril Esta Morta“, which is part of a bigger group of blogs that all state the same thing about various celebrities, that each one has died and been replaced by a lookalike.

As Broderick tells it, “The point of the blogs is to prove how easy it is to start a big internet conspiracy theory. Which is then exactly what happened this week! All because of my dumb Twitter account”.” – Huffington Post

Ok first of all, if I know one thing about Spanish bureaucracy, I know that “bigger group of blogs” means pie in the sky. Cover up. The average citizen can’t load up Minecraft but they got people running fake news media empires? I will not let the Huffington post try to shush up the Avril Lavigne conspiracy with the classic El Chapo smokescreen of “bigger group of blogs”. GTFO with that weak journalism Huffington Post. If there is a conglomerate I want names. Otherwise ruin someone elses story with your half-assed investigative reporting. That goes for you too Buzzeed, though I expected nothing less.

Image result for buzzfeed meme

“There’s just one problem. As Buzzfeed explained in an article titled “Here’s How I Accidentally Made An Old Avril Lavigne Death Hoax Go Viral,” that Brazilian post made it clear at the beginning that it was created to show “how conspiracy theories can look true.” And yet, despite that disclaimer, the theory quickly spread like wildfire thanks to the Buzzfeed writer sharing the conspiracy theory as a joke” – Rolling Stone

So while Buzzfeed tries to put the fire out, we have Buzzfeed also trying to gain traction on how they started the fire. As Buzzfeed tries to profit from both ends and extend the story, I find myself wondering if this is all just another giant Buzzfeed lie. Or if there’s a Brazilian blogger being held up right now forced to spit out quotes to cover this skeleton back up.

One big question still remains.

Why is Rolling Stone citing Buzzfeed as evidence in their article? I thought you guys were the ones we were supposed to cite? Have you sunk that low?

And don’t get me wrong I haven’t lost respect for you. That’s because I lose all respect for you in 2013.

Avril Lavigne conspiracy

How could you take a monster like this and edit a front-page-worthy glamour shot for your nationwide audience? Why would you glorify this man?

I know I’m off topic here but were here so-

“How a popular, promising student” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This guy killed people, killed children. People lost their legs. I don’t care what troubled him, or what his background was our how promising he was. He detonated backpacks to explode shrapnel at random strangers at a marathon. If that is him at his low then I want him out of the gene pool. Don’t tell me about his childhood. I’ve met people who’ve gone though hell to come out as teachers and doctors. Shame on you Rolling Stone he’s a monster. So don’t think the Rolling Stone can’t be in on the Avril Lavigne conspiracy. Is Avril Lavigne dead? If not, where is Melissa Vandella? Tell us Rolling Stone!

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