Ranking The Top 5 Hottest Moments in Festival Slut History

It’s 2AM and here at TodaysFive we are ranking the wildest, craziest videos and photos in festival slut history to help spice up your Monday morning. Should go without saying but this post is rather NSFW. Enjoy!

5. Ultra Tree Hugger

Starting us off here is an all time favorite.

The girl at Ultra who broke the internet by openly slutty with a tall, brown, tree that she had only just met. Some may call it shameless, others, like myself, believe in something called love at first sight. Anyone who has a problem with this needs to get off their high horse and appreciate this for the beautiful moment that it is.

I wish I knew exactly what this girl was on, I really do. Because she was not on this planet. Michael Jackson should have hired this girl instead!

If I had to guess, I’d say she’s mixing hallucinogenics with MDA and some other sort of low quality amphetamine. But still. You wonder how this state of consciousness is achieved even with all these drugs. I believe dehydration may be the X factor that put the icing on the horny, waking black-out, acid induced quest for wood.

And can we talk about how lucky that tree was? God Damn!

ultra festival tree girl

I think it’s fair to say no tree has gotten action like that since Woodstock.

And respect that game. She walked away but he smooth talked his way back in she. She comes back, this time wrapping her legs around, arching the hips, totally losing it. Horny college Juniors in their plaid shorts appear out of nowhere. Like vultures they systematically surround the subject without any prior planning. Phones whipped out, hands in pockets, the viewers watched in jealousy as some hottie chose a tree dick over theirs.

One last thing- It’s also crazy to think what would have happened had her friend not come in to break it all up. I mean this girl was into it, who knows how long that would have gone on for! Or what it would have escalated to… a festival slut is really a treasure.

4. Down Under

OK there is a lot going on here.

The peeing part isn’t necessarily hot to me (if that is your thing then this video definitely was the highlight of your day), but the wildness of this whole thing is just amazing to me.

If you can’t tell from the title, this happened in Australia. A gobbie is a blowjob. Which seems rather obvious.

gobbie

Here is the term in context for those who are still not understanding.

So anyway aside from pissing on the ground in front of everyone, this girl supposedly was “giving away free gobbies”

Whoever pulled their meat out got a quick slob and knob. But nothing more it seems. She wasn’t sucking them off, just getting a little taste and then moving on. It’s interesting really. A festival slut that was trying to please the crowd as a whole. This girl didn’t even want to give a blowjob as much as she wanted to get as many random dudes dicks in her mouth as possible. Truly a festival slut of the people. And for that we commend her.

3. The Existence Of This Photo

hot festival slut

This is just too amazing to not be listed. I know it’s not really a moment as much as it is just the hottest girl to ever be known as a festival slut. Blown up first through /r/FestivalSluts on Reddit, this one is a true gem.

Here is a runner-up in the category-

festival slut

A (hopefully not lost) festival slut spotted at Coachella.

2. Keeping It Classy At Lollapalooza

lollapalooza festival slut

This photo really sums up and captures the essence of what finger blasting at a concert is all about.

You have the girl who is either enjoying it or just going with it because she figures it will pick up eventually, a guy who’s determination and gratitude for getting to be “that guy” this time is shining through the expression on his face. You can literally see the focus in his eyes. In this moment, he is living in only in the present.

For the cherry on top of this photo was a creepy snapshot by some peeping tom. So all around it is exactly what you want in a festival slut moment. Great job all around team!

1. Festival Slut Queen (Very NSFW)

Nothing more needs to be said…

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